The other day I was emailing back and forth with a friend, trying to gain sympathy for the woes of my life and dramatizing my life's worries into a pretty epic picture. She responded with something along these lines: 'Oh, and just btw - Lance (he's my previous and very favorite year to date boss I've ever had) took Asher up north, he will be having surgery tomorrow. I just thought you'd want to know.' Tid bit - Asher is said ex-boss's newborn babe. Nevermind that Asher is a twin. Nevermind that Asher was born weeks early. Nevermind that Asher spent months in the NICU. Nevermind that Asher is less than 6 months old and will undergo more surgeries before he turns 2 than I may encounter in my entire life. 'P' word. I recently met this guy. Let's be honest, it was on Tinder. If you don't know what that is, bless you. Whatever started forming between me and this gent made me smile, daydream, and put a little pep back in my step. For those of you who know how my last couple years have been spent - this is a pretty big deal. Anyways. Things started to get weird, as they usually do, or I wouldn't be single, right? As a 30-year old single gal, I'm getting pretty good at being able to see when a guy is 'Just Not That Into Me.' So looking back I started reflecting on what I actually liked about said gent. I found our conversations... intriguing. Nevermind that most of them were via text. Please note that dating via text is not only one of my biggest pet peeves, but it's also not really dating and it's impossible to actually get to know someone. But I learned something from this gent that I have been tossing around in my head the past few weeks. To the outside world this gent has a dream life. He is being paid to do something he loves. And yet.... in our conversations... he seems miserable. Lost. Unhappy. Discontent. I don't blame him - his dreams also cost him a marriage, financial stability, his house, his cute hound, etc. etc. etc. He has paid a price. 'P' word. So - as I sit at my desk, miserable that I am not being paid to do something I love, something that contributes to society, making a difference, using my education or chasing my dreams... I can NOT get this simple saying out of my head.... 'The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.' You know what? I may only be 30. But that lame saying that has had people living in regret, jealousy, and discontent... I find it absolutely absurd! News Flash: The grass is NOT greener on the other side. Not in my experience. Not once. Not ever. Nope. My ex-boss who makes a lot of money, has a family and a great job? Ya, sweet baby Asher is evidence alone about his green grass. Mr. Tinder gent? He made it to the olympics. Yes, he went to Sochi. Everyone's fantasy dream that few are able to actually achieve, right? Not exactly. My cute co-worker who I was always so envious of. Seemed like she had her shiz together. Cute husband of a 20 year marriage, 2 darling daughters, and a successful career. She just filed for divorce and found out she's going to be a grandma. The guy I've been crushing on since my freshman year of college? Who has had what I thought was the model marriage for the past 9 years? He just joined the divorce club. "Perspective." Which is defined as 'being able to look through, or see clearly.' I love that. So here is what has been racking my brain... WHY for the love of all things holy - can we not love who, where and what we individually are? Individually we are pretty awesome.
Interesting ponderings. I enjoyed reading it. Keep posting Jules. Keep me updated on your life via blog - it's the only way that I know what's going on!
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